Friday, August 10, 2007

What Else Is He Supposed To Do?

PacMan Jones is not very smart.

Dude doesn't even know how many times he's been arrested. Unfortunately, his stupidity and propensity to attend strip clubs seemed to be the root of his problems, and probably go hand in hand. (Although, he's also a police target, and one of the cases brought against him wrongfully was dismissed.)

Dude is dumb enough to go to the strip club for a meal in the middle of the night, on the eve of his meeting with the NFL commissioner. Now I know most people think he's lying about going to the strip club to eat, and no girls being there, but I really think he's that stupid to go to the strip club to eat.

"Yo, yall tryin to get somethin to eat?"

"Yeah, i'm starvin like Marvin."

"Aight, lets go to Shakers, I like they ribs"

"Yo, Pac, you sure you want to go to the strip club dog? Ain't you gonna get in more trouble?"

"Naw man, it's cool, ain't no bitches there on Wednesday night. Plus I know the owner, its straight."

"Forreal fam?"

"Yea dog. Trust yah boy, I got everything under control."

In his mind, the best thing he could do to keep himself out of trouble is wrestling. Adam joined TNA wrestling, and was set to make his debut on Sunday, until the Titans took a restraining order out on him to stop it. Yup, they won't let the man wrestle. Apparently wrestling is dangerous, which violates his contract. Therefore, Tennessee is making him sit out.

To that I say, what else is he supposed to do? Get a regular job? He's obviously not bright, so I don't think an office job is for him. A blue collar gig would also be potentially dangerous.

My friend Steve used to have a job as a manager of a FedEx facility during the night shift. It was a running gig of ours, that washed up celebrities and athletes would end up working for Steve, who was 21 at the time. Steve's quit since then, so PacMan can't even do that.

Well Pac, if you're looking for work, you can come work for me as an Intramural official. We start at 6.75 an hr, and you'll be the first football player at Drexel in a long time.

Or the Titans can let him wrestle. I mean, wrestling is fake! Its not like he's dumb enough to do something dangerous like jump 10 feet on to a concrete floor, or have an elaborate entrance that incorporates sliding down a cable into the ring from the rafters during a fireworks show. I mean he's not that dumb is he? O yea, it is PacMan Jones we're talking about.

O well, I'm off to the strip club for a nice, quiet dinner.

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